Scores of commuters in the US are attempting to make their way into work following a huge snow blizzard. You may have heard about it on the news. A bit.
Though the snow’s easing off, public transport has, naturally, been severely compromised throughout. And at some point you’re going to have to leave the toasty confines of your house/underground lair to stock up on cheese and Top Gear-branded bubble bath.
So, in another deeply insightful and solicitous piece of consumer advice, here are ten of the finest blizzard-proof cars you can get your hands on…
Ken Block’s ‘RaptorTRAX’
Modified by Special Vehicle Concepts in California, the RaptorTRAX is senior tyre slayer and part-time ping-pongist Ken Block’s personal ski lift and ultimate ‘Snow My God’ urban assault vehicle.
It’s a 650bhp, 6.2-litre V8 Ford Raptor equipped with massive show-shifting tracks. There are also snowboard racks, a roof basket, a rear-mounted winch, interior storage for snacks and drinks, an exterior stereo setup for blasting music, and exterior-mounted lighting rig to blind the snow into submission. Oh, and best of all, a tailgate-mounted BBQ for toasting some tasty marshmallows.
The Rebellion R2K is the brainchild of accomplished freeskier and ski racer Jon Olsson. It weighs just 1000kg, is powered by an Audi R8 V10 engine producing 600bhp, sounds superb and looks even better than it sounds.
You may’ve seen it on various Gumball 3000s (yeah, it’s road legal). But to prove it can do the business in the snow (and nothing at all to do with winning YouTube, of course), Jon decided to point it up a ski run and drift it up a snowy slope.
The new, lower, wider, more powerful and less fall over-y 2008DKR16 won nine of the 13 stages, meaning it has – provisionally at least – won the 2016 Dakar Rally.
It was Dakar rookie Sébastien Loeb who set the pace and the first Pug pilot to claim a stage win. But veterans Stéphane Peterhansel and Carlos Sainz weren’t far behind as they had six one-twos and two one-two-threes over the first six stages.
Before Ferruccio Lamborghini had a spat over engine parts with Enzo Ferrari and turned his attention to ‘automobilis’, his bread and butter was agriculture. Most notably, tractors.
And for all of its lairy luminescent supercars, Lamborghini still makes tractors. Cool tractors at that.
This is the ‘Nitro’, Lambo’s latest tractor and possibly the coolest farm runabout in the world. It’s got a very un-Lamborghini-like four-cylinder diesel engine throwing out a useful 354ft lb of torque. With this, CVT gearing and monster 650/60R-38 Michelin XeoBib rear tyres, this Lambo will crawl to a dizzying top speed of 26mph. And probably pull you out of any snowy mess yourself, your family or cows get in.
If you’re not willing to compromise on style when facing the snow, the Icon Bronco’s a pleasing blend of modern off-road tech and retro styling. It is £114,000, mind. But you do get Learjet sun visors, which work just as well in snowy conditions.
Using custom ECUs and air filters you could fly a plane into, Twisted can build you a Defender with 250bhp and 494 torques. Roughly enough to drag you, your family, your house, and your local cathedral to safety.
Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 6×6
Mercedes kindly lined a few 6x6s with cow peelings, fitted them with 540bhp V8s, and popped them up for sale, €300,000 apiece. Its metre-deep wading ability and three axles should be perfect for that morning commute.
, and watch the video
It’s a custom-built rescue truck suitable for transportation, medical support and fire extinguishing capabilities. Oh, and you can fit massive pillows to the wheels and drive it on water. Snowstorm or not, we want.
It weighs four tonnes and packs a 6.6-litre V8 GM diesel with roughly four million torques. A dusting of snow should be no match. Nor should, say, a mild zombie apocalypse.
Though powered by a humble 3.0-litre diesel engine with 176bhp and a 50mph top speed, the Shaman is perhaps one of Top Gear’s favouritest toys ever. As we found out late last year when we drove it in Russia.
With it’s eight-wheel-steer activated – yes, it’s eight-wheel-drive – you can “throw the Shaman around like it’s a Caterham crossed with a monster truck”. Oh, and it’ll also cross rivers and lakes, too.
Got any more suggestions? Have your say below…