The 20 saddest scrappage scheme victims

Govt releases info on cars binned under 2009’s scrappage scheme. TG sheds a tear. BMW 2002, anyone?

The UK government has at last revealed details of every single car destroyed under the highly publicised ‘scrappage scheme’ of 2009, a scheme designed to kick-start the British auto sector by offering punters £2,000 to trade in their old bangers for shiny new metal.

But, after a quick glance through the list of nearly 400,000 giffers that bit the dust, TG has felt the need to lie down in a quiet room and have a cry.

Principally because it reveals there are people in the world who believe a BMW 635 CSI deserved to be destroyed permanently. Sure, we can understand the old Vauxhall Novas and the Daihatsu Terioseses and the Fiat Cinquecentos and even the 492 BMW 318s, but an Alfa Romeo Spider?

For the love of all that’s holy, what possessed you people to bin four CAPRI LASERS, over forty Ford Escort Mexicos and a Lancia Fulvia? Shame on you.

Our anger is compounded by some of the classifications on the official document, which have led to much fevered scratching of heads. Particularly the entry ‘VOLVO BMW 7 SERIES’. Or the ‘VOLKSWAGEN PROTON PERSONA MERIDIAN’, so the numbers that follow in this gallery must be taken with a pinch of salt.

Even so, meet 20 victims of the 2009 scrappage scheme that really, really didn’t deserve to die.

Audi Quattro – 14

Fourteen original Quattros bit the dust. Fourteen! Don’t you know Gene Hunt said, ‘Fire up the Quattro’, not ‘Fire the Quattro’?

BMW 2002 – 1

It’s a landmark car for BMW, one of a series of Beemers largely credited with turning around the company’s fortunes. WHO IS THIS PERSON?

BMW 635 CSI – 13

The 635 CSI is one of the coolest cars BMW ever built. Now there are 13 fewer of them in the world. Sad face.

BMW M535i – 4

Clearly, it didn’t matter to four people out there that the M535i WAS THE VERY FIRST M5. Top Gear’s caps lock button is under severe strain.

A brief history of the mighty BMW M5

Ford Escort RS2000 – 4

Really? Four of these classic fast Fords had to meet their maker? Why?

Honda Integra Type R – 2

Only recently did we bring you Honda’s (mostly) excellent back catalogue of Type Rs, and one stands more excellent than the rest. To the two that have gone, RIP.

A brief history of Honda’s Type R

Lancia Delta HF Integrale – 1

Words. Words have failed us.

Mazda RX-7 – 10

Mazda has yet to replicate the excellence of the original RX-7, with its rotary engine and monster power. Clearly this didn’t deter ten automotive sadists.

Mercedes 560 SEC – 3

A proper Big Benz in every sense, the 560 SEC packed a mighty V8. Farewell, chaps.

Opel Manta GTE – 1

This was up against the Ford Capri back in the day. Are the memories flooding back yet? No? Well now they can’t, because you KILLED ALL THE CARS.

Peugeot 205 GTI – 32

Peugeot has just announced the 30th anniversary of this car, one of the original, and greatest, hot hatches. Which means that five years ago, when these 32 cars bit the dust, it would have been 25 years old. Why do the good die so young?

Peugeot 306 GTI – 21

Like older brother 205, this was a really rather excellent GTI. Still a pretty car, too. Sorry. WAS a pretty car.

Peugeot 306 Rallye – 2

A stripped out 306 GTI? What’s wrong with that? Sure, it was probably a bit leaky and electrical-faulty by 2009, but we’d have taken it off your hands.

Porsche 928 – 3

Again, words have failed us. Go take a long look at yourself, Britain.

Reliant Robin – 1

We have included this for obvious reasons. Primarily the effect it had on Clarkson’s face.

Renault 5 GT Turbo – 2

If we’re honest, we’re surprised that – between the crashes and mechanical faults so common to 5 Turbos – this pair even survived the 1980s.

Toyota Celica GT-4 – 5

A rally-bred Toyota. Shame on you.

Toyota Supra – 31

Toyota has been making noises about a new Supra, but this one was still a Mighty Thing back in the 1990s. Thirty-one baseball-cap-wearing helmsmen should hang their head in shame.

TVR S Series – 1

The sole TVR we could find in the list. Presumably because all the others have already gone.

Volkswagen Corrado VR6 – 7

Do you people understand how rare the VR6 Corrados are? Do you? Well, they’re a whole lot rarer now.

Got a few hours to dig through every car lost to the cruel scrappage scheme? Head over here, and then tell us what you’ve found on the RIP list…

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