http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-klein/supreme-court-ruling-spur…
William KleinPolitical strategist, writer, humorist in Washington,
D.C.
Posted: January 26, 2010 08:45 PM
Supreme Court Ruling Spurs Corporation To Run for Congress:First Test
of "Corporate Personhood" In Politics
I’ve agreed to serve as campaign manager for the first "corporate
person" to exercise its constitutional right to run for office.
Following the recent Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v.
Federal Election Commission to allow unlimited corporate funding of
federal campaigns, Murray Hill Incorporated, a diversifying
corporation in the Washington, D.C. area, has filed to run for U.S.
Congress in the Republican primary in Maryland’s 8th Congressional
District. You can see our first campaign video on YouTube and follow
us on Facebook.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHRKkXtxDRA
Until now,corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions
and influence peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But
thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, now multinational corporations
can eliminate the middle-man and run for office themselves.
Finally, the vision of the novelist Ralph Nader has come to pass–We
are a government of the Exxons, by the General Motors, and for the
Duponts.
Murray Hill Inc. is believed to be the first "corporate person" to
exercise its constitutional right to run for office. As Supreme Court
observer Lyle Denniston wrote in his SCOTUSblog, "If anything, the
decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission conferred
new dignity on corporate "persons," treating them — under the First
Amendment free-speech clause — as the equal of human beings."
Murray Hill Inc. agrees. "The strength of America," Murray Hill Inc.
says, "is in the boardrooms, country clubs and Lear jets of America’s
great corporations. We’re saying to Wal-Mart, AIG and Pfizer, if not
you, who? If not now, when?"
Murray Hill Inc. plans on spending top dollar to protect its
investment. "It’s our democracy," Murray Hill Inc. says, "We bought
it, we paid for it, and we’re going to keep it."
The campaign’s designated human, Eric Hensal, will help the
corporation conform to antiquated "human only" procedures and sign the
necessary voter registration and candidacy paperwork. Hensal is
excited by this new opportunity. "We want to get in on the ground
floor of the democracy market before the whole store is bought by
China," he says.
I plan on running an aggressive, historic campaign that "puts people
second" or even third, employing social media, automated robo-calls,
"Astroturf" lobbying and computer-generated avatars to get out the
vote.